Washington Post MENSA Invitational

This is certinly not mine, but passed on from a colleague and then on and on . I have laughed so much at this I must share. Aedin has prompted me to post it.
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Here are the winners of this year's Washington Post MENSA Invitational which, once again, asked readers to take anyword from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition :
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefiniteperiod of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5 Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7... Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to it's yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n.: The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj.: Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v.: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v.: To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj.: Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj.: Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v.: To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n.: Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n.: Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n.: A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle n.: A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n.: The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n.: A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n.: A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n.: The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n.: An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Easter Saturday

Nothing much to report other than the Hague was filled with heaps of strange people, but lucky for me I was able to spend a few great hours in the garden of my friend Geesije's wellness center this is a place I found I myself about two years ago working off some personal demon's. Easter Sat or Sunday for that matter was a great idea to spend some time.

And best of all the beautiful Beech tree is still holding the whole thing together.

Good Friday

Yesterday was a lovely sunny beautiful day off, I started with some distractions that came in the form of my Amazon package that was delivered... with new music and some old that I promised I would buy if I liked it. Elbow, Leaders of the Free World (one that gets heavy rotation just now on all my devices) and the Seldom Seen Kid. The Doves - Kingdom of Rust, Death in Vegas - The Best of DIV. And a new Murakami - The Wind Up Bird Chronicle (which Mac said was the best he has written) for my bookshelf.
Then out to meet Helen for decisions about a dress... then over to Crunch for coffee and juices and some more plotting before Joanne joined us for a bit. Had a good laugh. Then over to Wool where the lovely Pauline helped us out of our beginners knitting problems. After which Helen headed home to pack and I did some window shopping in town, which halfway through my sandal broke.. in the shop I actually bought it in! Unfortunatly they would not return it without a receipt which I will go and do today. So I had to buy a new pair.
Afterwhich I was feeling a little sorry for myself and decided nothing would make me happier than a Jever at De Paas, and appropriately enough this also means Easter in Dutch. Lucky for me I found a spare Chair and sat down and pulled out my knitting. In between beers, chatting on the phone and listening to music I caught a few glances one in the form of the singer from the John Deer Mowing Club who was coming across the road and did a double take and then the whole table turned around to watch me knit a cable stitch.. quite funny actually. My neighbours on my table and I started chatting.
Both of them Dutch, one from Limburg the other from The Hague. Nice couple. We chatting about weather (of course) how and why's I came and stayed in Holland, what I do for a job and how I was quite a paradox to them. Knitting while sipping on a .05 liter beer, then I happened to have my book with my concert photos in my bag so pulled that out to show them, both were well impressed and to confuse them further I also told them besides my job and photography hobby I also taught Yoga and have at the office for the past 5 years. They said it was great because I gave them something to discuss while sitting on the boat having a beer.
When I think back I don't think I have ever wanted to be "normal' to fit in and always did what I felt was right for me. I have to think that when others find something strange or different in someone else you should embrace it and be happy that person is able to express what many can't... their inner true self.
Now lets see if Saturday can be as good.